For couples who want the lead-up to sex to feel just as exciting as the climax!

Discover the secret to magnetic attraction, unshakeable confidence, and more frequent intimacy.

Picture this…

You’re in the midst of battle with your endless to-do list. 

You transfer the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer. 

You start on dinner while you wait for the laundry to dry. 

You sign the kids up for after school activities on your phone with one hand, while you stir pasta on the stove with your other hand.

As you’re grabbing the pot to haul over to the sink, you feel your partner’s hands wrap around your shoulders. 

They begin to massage your upper back. 

But this isn’t a “you’ve been working so hard, you deserve some pampering” massage. 

It’s that massage that’s not really a massage. 

You feel your muscles tense and your heart sink.

You think…

“Read the room! Why would I want to be grabbed at when I’m in the middle of trying to get a hundred things done for everyone else? This isn’t the time or the place!”

Not only do they choose the most inopportune time, but their method of initiating makes you feel… 

Icky. Frustrated. Unappreciated. 

Like it’s all about them and their needs. It all feels wildly impersonal.

You wiggle your way out of their arms and instantly recognize that look of defeat in their eyes.

You’re standing in the same room, but you’ve never felt so far apart.

You think…
"When did intimacy get so hard??"
Now, let’s jump into your partner’s brain for a moment.

They step through the door after a long day, and they’re so excited to see you. 

They miss you. 

But it goes deeper than that; they’re craving that feeling of closeness that used to come so easily before busy work schedules and family life.

They know you’ve been feeling disconnected lately, and they know there are good reasons for that. 

But they can’t help but long for a moment of connection with the person they love the most in this world — you.

So they push past their anxieties, their fear of vulnerability and your potential rejection, and decide to give it a shot.

They see you in the kitchen. 
“This is perfect!” they think. “I can give my partner a little break.”
They put their hands on your shoulders and start to lean in to kiss the back of your neck, but are immediately taken aback when they feel your body flinch in response.

Seeing you looking back at them with frustration and confusion, they think…
“I got it wrong yet again. I’m an idiot for even trying. Maybe I just need to accept that we’re not going to get the spark back”
If this is sounding all too familiar, you’re not alone.
This is a heartbreakingly common occurrence in long-term relationships.

Don't forget! You can try it risk-free for 5 days.

Initiation is supposed to feel exciting and connecting.

But in most long-term relationships, it feels boring at best, annoying at worst.

When we ask couples how initiation feels in their relationship, we hear things like:
In fact, only 17% of the couples in our community said initiation feels like it’s working well in their relationship.

From personal experience, we know that the shame, frustration, and embarrassment around initiation can make you want to bury your head in the sand.

But here’s the thing…
You already know that intimacy is something you can’t ignore.

You already know how heavy your relationship feels when you’re not in a good place. How heavy your entire life feels! When you and your partner aren’t on the same page, it sucks all the energy and joy right out of you.

We’re not even going to try to convince you of the importance of intimacy in a relationship.

You wouldn’t be here, reading these words, if you didn’t already know that.

Instead, we want you to think about how big a role initiation plays in intimacy. The stakes are high when it comes to initiation because it dictates so much of what happens. There’s a domino effect that comes into play.

Here’s the most obvious impact: if you don’t get initiation right, you’re going to say “no” to each other more often, and have less sex and less intimacy as a result.

But it gets so much more complicated from there…

Even when you do say “yes”, you’re going to have worse sex. If you didn’t like the way they initiated, and you only begrudgingly agreed to it because you know it’s been a while, it’s hard to get excited about sex.

If you don’t get initiation right, you’re each going to end up irritating, frustrating, and annoying the other with unskillful or poorly-timed attempts. (Ever felt like your partner is grabbing at you like a sticky-fingered child in a candy store?) And both of your feelings will get hurt when one of you ignores or laughs at the other when they try to initiate.

Ultimately, your attraction to each other will start to wane, and you’ll find yourselves sliding into roommates mode — or a full-on dry spell.

You’re also more likely to deal with low libido, because why would you crave sex when you’re not feeling turned on by your partner? And the mismatches in your libidos will start to widen, leaving you worrying about your compatibility.

When initiation is bad, it also decreases other types of intimacy too. You’ll always be on guard around your partner, recoiling from their touches and kisses because you don’t want it to “lead to more.”

Your partner can sense your discomfort, so they’ll start initiating in more roundabout or “jokey” ways (boob honk anyone?!), trying to minimize the sting of rejection (“I was just joking!”).

Which, of course, only serves to put you even more on guard!

It creates a truly vicious cycle.

We’re willing to bet that if initiation isn’t working well in your relationship, your overall intimacy isn’t in a good place either.

But before we go any further, we want you to know that what you’re experiencing is incredibly common, and actually fixable.

So if you’re reading this with a pang in your heart…

You need to know it's not your fault.

Countless couples are struggling with initiation because they were never taught how to initiate in a long-term relationship in a way that’s exciting and sustainable.

I mean, think about it… where the heck were you supposed to learn how to initiate? Movies or TV, where the only “initiation” you ever see is a couple giving each other “the look”? Or porn, where the pizza man shows up with a “special delivery”?

Initiation is a critically important skill we all need to know, yet we’ve all been cheated out of a genuine opportunity to learn!

You, your partner, your relationship, and the incredibly special love you share deserve so much more than that.

That’s exactly why we designed The Art Of Initiation.

It’s a practical, playful, and wildly effective online course that will help you and your partner finally understand you both need to feel enthusiastic about intimacy.
This course is for you if you’re longing for intimacy to feel easy.

It's for you if you want to feel genuine excitement when your partner initiates, and if you want to feel confident and sexy when you initiate. And if you want to know that no matter what happens, you’re still going to feel like you’re on the same team.

Anyone can mumble, “wanna do it?” — but there’s actually an art to initiating true connection, intimacy, and excitement.
The Art Of Initiation will give you…

Practical ways to create and sustain more emotional intimacy. (Because when you feel like roommates rather than romantic partners, having sex feels like a huge leap.)

Why differing libidos don’t need to stop you from experiencing the intimacy you both deserve, and how skillful initiation can actually bridge the gap!

How to confidently know and express exactly what turns you on (and get the same from your partner).

The game-changing initiation questions you never knew to ask, including how your “Ideal Conditions” can turn a “no” into a “YES PLEASE”. (This one is such a game-changer!)

Confidence-building hacks that will get you initiating with ease — even if you never have before.

61 creative and exciting examples of how to initiate!

Our step-by-step guidelines for alluring initiation.

The secret to staying connected even if one of you isn’t open to having sex in a particular moment.

Your real reasons for saying “yes”. (Hint: being horny actually has very little to do with it, and there’s an entire step-by-step process.)

PLUS you get lifetime access to the course (and a 5-day money-back guarantee)!

The Art of Initiation is an 8-module online course you can access from the privacy and comfort of your own home.

The secrets you’ll learn are game-changing and life-altering, yet you’ll be able to get through the course in as little as ONE WEEK.

But don’t worry — just because it’s a “course” doesn’t mean it will feel like homework. (Unless you’re into that sort of thing. In that case, this will be the hottest homework you’ve ever completed! )

It’s actually an incredibly FUN experience! You’ll hear us — a couple who has been together since the 00s — talk about our own initiation fails and missteps. We’ll make you laugh, help you feel normal, and — most importantly — give you tools and step-by-step strategies that WORK.

The content is delivered in your choice of two different formats: audio and written. Whether you want an audiobook-style experience for long commutes to work, upcoming road trips, or a before-bed activity, OR you’re a bookworm who loves the written word, you’ll find a format that works for you.
Here’s exactly what you get with each module:
  • Module 1: Welcome
    We kick things off with the validation and assurance you deserved to hear years ago — initiation struggles are NORMAL. Almost every couple is going to struggle with initiation at some point. Plus, you’ll get quick and practical tips for getting the most out of your experience.
  • Module 2: The Truth About Why Initiation Is So Hard
    Uncover the lies you were taught to believe about initiation and a new way of looking at it that is going to BLOW. YOUR. MIND.
  • Module 3: Discover EXACTLY What Your Partner Wants Out Of An Initiation
    You’ll find your real reasons for saying “yes”, what men and women are really looking for in an initiation, your unique Initiation Style, and the game-changing initiation questions you never knew to ask.
  • Module 4: The Secrets To Confident And Exciting Initiation
    Discover the most common initiation traps you’re probably falling into, how to become the most self-assured version of yourself, and our step-by-step guidelines for making initiation the exciting and enticing invitation you want it to be. You’ll also get 61 unique and seductive ideas for initiation, and our Sex Menus exercise to take things to the next level.
  • Module 5: How To Consider Your Partner’s Initiations
    There’s an extremely high likelihood that you’re not going to be wildly turned on at the exact moment that your partner initiates. It would just be too much of a coincidence! Consideration is the name and process that we came up with for figuring out how to respond when your partner initiates. There’s a lot more to it than just yes or no! No one ever talks about this, but it’s a crucial skill for you both to learn.
  • Module 6: Navigate Rejection So It Doesn’t Feel Like Rejection
    Let’s be real — we know you’re nervous about hearing a “no” from your partner. But you’re going to be shocked to discover our unique process for creating connection and intimacy, even if one of you isn’t open to sex.
  • Module 7: All Your Biggest Initiation Frustrations, Solved!
    In this Q&A, we answer your most challenging questions, like:
    “How do I get over feeling so awkward?”
    “What do I do if I want my partner to initiate more?”
    “I turned my partner down in the past, so now they won't initiate anymore.”
    “We both work from home. How can we switch into sexy mode after being together all day, every day?”
    “The way he initiates is just so timid, but I want to feel the passion.”
  • Module 8: Celebrate Your Successes And Identify Your Next Steps
    Learn how to move forward as a team, and snag some bonus next steps to keep that fire burning in and out of the bedroom.
When you’re experiencing problems in your relationship that feel too tough to white-knuckle yourself, you might assume that the problem either can’t be solved, or that it must require years of therapy and thousands of dollars.

Let’s jump back in time to a few years ago when Vanessa offered couples sessions…

After finding a time that worked with her limited availability and your packed family calendar, sitting through rush hour traffic after work, hunting for a parking spot, and just barely making it to your appointment on time, you’d be paying her typical rate of over $500 per session

The information in this course would take the average couple 3-5 sessions to work through and put into practice, so you’d be looking at at least a $1,500 bill to get what you need.

The reason Vanessa stopped offering one-on-one therapy and started creating digital courses and guides is that she wanted her tools and techniques to be accessible AND affordable.

So instead of that $1,500 investment, we’re now able to offer you the same information for a truly incredible price…

Only $89!

And you get lifetime access to the course!

Plus, since we know investing in a course like this can still feel like a lot for some couples (especially when you don't know yet what you'll be getting out of it until you're in it!), we offer a 5-day money-back guarantee so you can try it out with absolutely no worries!
Imagine what initiation will feel like after taking this course…

Imagine your partner reaching out to touch you, and instead of feeling yourself cringe or recoil, you soften into their touch.

Imagine understanding that they’re trying to feel close to you at that moment — and realizing that you actually want to feel close to them, too.

A simple touch has the power to silence the noise.

Suddenly, it’s just the two of you there together, the perfectly imperfect, still the madly-in-love team you’ve always known you are.

Don’t take it from us, take it from the couples who’ve taken the course and finally feel connected again…
  • I can’t imagine talking to my partner about this…
    You’re not alone! Most people struggle to talk about sex openly with their partner. We’ve been there ourselves.

    That’s why you’ll also receive a bonus guide called, “How To Get Your Partner On Board With The Art Of Initiation”! You’ll get specific examples covering a wide variety of scenarios. And you’ll even get follow-up responses you can use to keep the conversation going!
  • Can I take this course by myself, or do I have to do it with my partner?
    Our recommendation is to take the course together. We think you’ll have the most impact if you’re discovering our techniques at the same time.

    But we also want to acknowledge that couples are rarely on the same page about this kind of stuff. So you can absolutely go through the course solo, and bring the tips and techniques back into your relationship. We’ll show you how.
  • What if it feels like we just don’t have the time for this?
    Look, we totally get how busy and overwhelming life can feel. We’ve never gotten a message from a couple saying, “We have so much free time! Do you have any courses that will take us longer to get through?”

    And we want to be clear in saying that there are just some seasons in life that are more focused on survival. When you’re dealing with things like major illness, financial stress, or grief, intimacy may need to take a backseat, and that’s OK.

    Survival mode aside, we want to give you a little bit of tough love...

    Sometimes when we say, “I don’t have the time,” what it really means is, “It’s not important to me right now.”

    We all say that our relationships are important to us. But here’s the tough question you need to ask yourself: “What am I doing to show that I value my relationship?”

    If you’re in one of those survival seasons where intimacy isn’t a priority, or if your relationship truly isn’t important to you, don’t join now. We’re sending you our love and support.

    The Art Of Initiation is only for couples who want to reignite the spark NOW.

    It’s for couples who have full lives AND are willing to make space to prioritize each other.

    Plus, there’s some great news... we truly believe that this course is quickly going to turn into the highlight of your day. And that it’s going to be so uplifting that it’ll actually make you feel like you have MORE energy to tackle everything life throws your way. Because when the two of you feel like a team, you’re unstoppable!
  • OK, but logistically, how long is this going to take?
    We designed this course to be as quick and effective as possible. We have no interest in wasting your time, so we’ve boiled each module down to contain the most crucial information you’ll need.

    Each lesson is just a few minutes, and the entire course can be completed in as little as one week! Or you can go through it at a slower pace if you choose.

    Plus, you get lifetime access to The Art Of Initiation, so you can take however long you want, and come back to it as many times as you want.
  • It feels too expensive…
    We’re all working with totally different budgets, and “expensive” is relative.

    If you’re in a situation where you’re deciding between paying your rent and purchasing The Art Of Initiation, please don’t buy this course!

    If you’re in a place where you can swing the 89 bucks, but you still find yourself hesitating, our answer is pretty similar to the questions about time above.

    Sometimes “It’s too expensive” actually means, “It’s not important to me right now.”

    Life is expensive, and a lot of our money goes towards basic needs. But most of us also mindlessly spend money on things that don’t really bring us much pleasure, connection, or joy. (Like that new pair of boots that you wore exactly once because they were too tight in the toes.)

    So ask yourself — “Is my spending actually bringing me happiness? Am I investing in the things that truly matter to me? Is my relationship worth investing in?”

    And remember — getting through all these techniques in couples therapy would cost thousands of dollars!
  • What if I’m just not confident enough to initiate?
    Most of us struggle with confidence, and initiation can bring up a lot of those fears.

    But we’ve got your back! We created an extra special bonus workshop filled with confidence-boosting hacks that will quickly take you from, “I’ve never initiated before!” to, “I’ve never felt sexier than I do when I tell my partner exactly what I want!”

    And think about it this way… once you’re confident initiating sex, asking for anything else you want in life is going to feel like a breeze!
  • But I’m terrified of being turned down!
    We all are! That’s why The Art Of Initiation is designed to maximize the chances of getting a “HELL YES!” from your partner!

    But just wait until you get to Module 6. Did you know there are actually sneaky ways to create connection and intimacy, even if one of you isn’t open to having sex?
  • What if I never feel any desire? How can I initiate when my sex drive feels nonexistent?
    Did you know that low libido can actually be a symptom of bad initiation? If you and your partner don’t get initiation right, it can lead to a serious decrease in desire!

    When you sign up for The Art Of Initiation, you’ll also get access to a bonus workshop all about your unique Sex Drive Type. You’ll learn exactly what your type needs to get turned on, and how you and your partner can tailor your initiations to your types!
  • What if I’m worried The Art Of Initiation isn’t for me?
    We’re offering a 5-day money-back guarantee. If you start the course and don’t feel like it’s a good fit, you’ll get every penny back, no questions asked.
Initiation is about SO MUCH MORE than just being horny or wanting a release.
Because we’ve all been taught that sex is a taboo and shameful thing, it’s easy to feel uncomfortable when your partner initiates, or too ashamed to initiate yourself.

And if your partner is initiating in ways that just don’t work for you, it’s even easier to see initiation as annoying or impersonal, like, “They just want an orgasm, and I’m just the vessel to make that happen.”

But initiation is so much more than that.
Initiation is your partner reaching out to you and saying, “I love you. I miss you. I want to feel connected to you right now.”
Picture your partner doing that right now. Standing in front of you, with a loving look in their eyes, a sweet smile on their face, and a gentle tone in their voice, telling you, “I want to feel close to you.”

So much different, right?
Initiation is one of the most powerful and most profound ways we experience intimacy.
So if you’re ready for initiation to feel like the genuinely intimate, loving, exciting, “cutting through the noise and reminding us what’s actually important” invitation you both want it to be, The Art Of Initiation is waiting for you!

Contact Information:

Billing address

Payment Information

You will not be charged for this purchase, but if you choose to make an optional purchase later, this card info will be used to complete that transaction!

Completing payment with PayPal

Want To Make Initiation Even Spicier?

Add Dirty Talk 101 for just $69 $39!
- Get over 200 dirty talk ideas & examples, ranging from mild to wild 
- Discover the unique words and phrases that work for your relationship 
- Confidence boosting techniques to blast through shyness 
- Take it to the next level with 10 flirty dirty talk games

All charges will show up on your bank statement as Vanessa & Xander or One Oh Inc.

  • Total payment
  • 1xThe Art of Initiation$89

All prices in USD

All charges will show up on your bank statement as Vanessa & Xander.

This purchase has a 5-day money-back guarantee.